O you guys! This tiny little flower in the fullness of its fleeting life has put in front of me so much hope.
The beauty and softness of its color made me feel calm, collected, present, aware. The arrangement of color is really beautiful to me. It is holding the tension of two colors to create a third color.
What if we could exist like this flower, holding the tension of opposites, not excluding one in favor of the other, but allowing a both/and mentality rather than an either/or way of thinking? We humans are so polarized these days, building walls rather than bridges. I am speaking to my own heart here as I see the landscape of my relationships, each struggling to survive in their own ways as either/or mentalities create great divides. In this environment, no one flourishes.
What if, like this flower, we could exist in a third way, a tertiary existence? I think Jesus showed us how to do this. In all of the great gospel stories, Jesus was the reconciling agent to two opposites colliding. Cynthia Bourgeault, a great teacher and contemplative observes this: “The interplay of two polarities calls forth a third, which is the “mediating” or “reconciling” principle between them. In contrast to a binary system, which finds stability in the balance of opposites, the ternary system stipulates a third force that emerges as the necessary mediation of these opposites and that in turn (and this is the really crucial point) generates a synthesis at a whole new level. It is a dialectic whose resolution simultaneously creates a new realm of possibility.”
And perhaps it’s this shift in perspective that can begin to mend us. Even on my run, which, when I set out, I was aiming for a 10K (6.2 miles) and only could do 5.2 miles. I came up a mile short. I could approach that outcome in three ways. 1. I did not reach my goal. Utter fail and perhaps I freeze and get stuck here. (Denying force). 2. No big deal. I set the bar too high. Lower it next time. You’re excused. (Affirming force). 3. I didn’t reach my intended outcome; however, I am a better runner because I learned some of my limitations. I will celebrate what I did accomplish and I will respect myself and my effort. I will extend myself some grace and bring my learning into the next run. (Reconciling force).
Cynthia goes on to say, “the manifestation of Love is in any situation, but you need to find it… Third force is there because the Trinity is real, and if you’re alert to it, you will be able to find it… The problem is that most of the world is third force blind. The capacity to midwife third force or holy the reconciling is… the most powerful fruit of a contemplative spiritual practice. Without a contemplative practice, midwifing third force is virtually impossible. But with a spiritual practice you will be better and better equipped to get into the dance which will allow you to see how to deliver third force in any given situation.”
To add to that beautiful idea, you must allow this reconciling force first into your own heart. Grant yourself that gift and then it will naturally manifest itself outwardly. I know that my run is a simplified expression of this idea, but perhaps if we can see it in the little gifts we receive inwardly, then it will be more noticeable as we walk around in our life’s landscape. I think that is what Cynthia means when she talks about a spiritual practice. If we can keep exposing ourselves to God at a deep level, transformation takes place and that reconciling force becomes the air we breathe because we have been changed by it first.