As I was running this afternoon, I ran by a house with a gentleman in his driveway. He seemed familiar and after a moment, I recognized him because he was still in his cycling clothes and he had his bike turned upside down in his driveway. I had passed him a time or two on my run as he was on his bicycle with a friend. I noticed how attentive he was to his bike. He was applying grease in some places, checking tire pressure and taking great care of his prized equipment. I noticed, just in passing, his great attention to detail. I thought, “Wow, he must really love his bike, the sport, the process.” Then I thought, “I’m so glad that running doesn’t require painstaking attention to equipment and expensive upkeep and such laborious details. The moment I thought that, I immediately began to think about how I treat my “running” equipment. Just because I can put a pair of running shoes on and head out the door and make what I want of my run, doesn’t mean it’s not costly. I am my running gear! If I am not properly caring for me, how can I expect my running gear to work efficiently?
Self care is deeply important, especially in these particularly challenging times. We may have to be more creative about how we take care of ourselves. Connection and intimacy have limitations right now, at least with other people. How are you connecting with yourself these days? I want to offer out some suggestions for self care that I really hope with be helpful as we find fresh pathways back to ourselves and the source of love, which is always present, even if we don’t feel it.
The Enneagram teaches that there are three intelligence centers active in a person. Depending on our type on the Enneagram, we operate more efficiently or less so to varying degrees. The 8, 9 and 1 are body types. The 2, 3 and 4 are heart types and the 5, 6 and 7 are head types. I am a 4 and my strongest intelligence lies naturally in my emotions. The Enneagram has helped me learn that I can feel things deeply and I understand the world through my emotional response to it. I am learning to distinguish between a reaction and a response, not to let my emotions drive the bus, but also honor and give space to what I am feeling and allow myself to listen more closely to my feelings. My work has also been to develop the other parts of me. Dropping into my body has been a learned skill, and why I took up running a few years ago.
As I reflected on this cyclist taking care of his bicycle so lovingly, I wondered how I could better care for myself. We take care of what we love. I love running. It helps me to be aware of my body. It also creates a space for thought. My best thoughts come to me when I’m running. I have been intentional about this underdeveloped part of my human experience. All three of these centers work in tandem to inform the others, at least, that’s been my experience.
I have a dear friend who self identifies as a 1 on the Enneagram. 1’s are body types. She has a keen mind, always active, innovative, coming up with creative new ways of doing things, making the world more “right”. She takes care of herself; her physical environment is full of beauty, rich smells emitting from candles, and rich food cooking on the stove. She is very health conscious and pays great attention to detail when it comes to comfort, beautiful surroundings and well-being. And I usually don’t know what she is feeling. When I inquire, she shuts down. This is probably the underdeveloped center for her and some work around the emotional center might help her to know what self care could look like.
Whether you know your type or not, when you think of your heart (emotional experience), head (mental processes) and body (physical, body presence), what are you least aware of, or, how about this? What part of you is the Cinderella of your existence? For most of my life, I have rejected my body. I have been the wicked step-mother who has denied things my body has asked me for. What part of you do you ignore or reject? How could you begin to show that part love? This might be the first step to really understanding what it means to really care for yourself, like someone caring for their bicycle. We take care of what we love.